I am being stopped dead in my tracks in several efforts to obtain even a "view" of what is going on in organizational settings where I am a stranger. I do not wish to observe just any organization; I want to see a higher ed department or college in action. I have set my mind to this and will somehow succeed, yet I am finding myself discouraged at my first attempts to communicate with those who call the shots. I have been asked not to make any further requests by one department chair, who has made it clear that I am somehow going to interfere with the departmental operations that are ongoing. In all fairness, my second attempt to reserve a space to observe from has gone quite smoothly. Just across the campus another college within the same university is quite pleasant and extends a welcome to my presence.
I do not feel particularly singled out in being rejected except that I continue to hope that I will someday get a call to teach as a part-time lecturer. Hopefully, my efforts to gain a sneak preview of what goes on backstage in a certain college will not cause my name to be blacklisted. Just knowing you're not welcome certainly brings a lot of suspicions to the table. I may never be able to trust a department again!
I like the readings for this week. They all mean something to me and it all makes sense. Everything about communication, feeling comfortable, breaking through barriers and the difficulties encountered when different camps within an organization become warring factions. The hurry up and "get 'er done" logic that is so prevalent by many does not lend itself as a way of life or method of deeper understanding. Still, that is often the mantra which exists in many organizations.